G5 PowerBook Available*

Although the new G5 PowerBook may be a little bigger and heavier than its siblings, let me tell you, it sure is powerful. Just look at that chunky little b'yatch:



It is basically a G5 PowerMac turned on its side with a flat screen and keyboard attached. I'm sure I could get used to the weight after a little while, might even strengthen my back carrying that somabitch around all day. Get yer E-bay orders in now, 'cause these bad biddys are flying off the shelves.
*It's not April Fools Day, is it?

Lazy

I have been pretty lazy so far this week. I just moved to a new office and there are boxes everywhere, I can't find anything I need to get my job done, and our Small Business DSL isn't hooked-up yet because of beaurocratic nonsense. I hate beaurocrats and everything they stand for. Isn't it great to have a job where you are dependent on large corporations? Wait, everyone in this country has a job like that. I'm surprised anything gets done in this country at all. Not to get on a rant or anything.

So, no DSL means I will be very slow to post new stuff. But I did find this Limited Ed. crap for y'all. For all my friends with coulrophobia, ya' got this shitty Murano Art Glass Miniature, Limited Ed. Clown:



I've had chunks of stuff floating in my turds that were more interesting and attractive than this stupid little thing. Why would anyone go through all the trouble of hand-crafting something as revolting as this piece of crap? I hope it didn't take up too much of the time they would have normally spent masturbating with sand-paper.

If that didn't get you red-hot with excitement, than I'm sure this excrement will! Not since the fabled Japanese swordmaker Kenzo Shittiburro has there been such a magnificent specimen as this Limited Ed. Highlander Dragon Samurai Sword Set:



I think I saw those two redneck idiots on the Home Shopping Network hawking these late one night. Then the fat one accidentally cut his finger off and they had to cut to this item: A Limited Ed. Krone Charles Dickens Mont Blanc Pen:



This is the actual pen that Charles Dickens used to stab himself in the leg when he was working on his numerous novels and he got so bored he almost fell asleep writing them; I'm getting bored just thinking about them. Eventually Dickens would succumb to ink poisoning, but not before putting this pen up for auction on E-bay.

Finally, I submit to you as evidence of my insanity, this Limited Ed. Precious Moments Keepsake Figurine, entitled Always Bring a Friend:



I like how they call this a Limited Ed. item even though this specific piece is numbered 527,122. Doesn't seem very limited to me. It makes me want to crap rainbow sherbet.

All of these items have been brought to you by the good people at Divine Images. Because the Lord is always looking out for a good set of Samurai swords.

Limited Ed. E-mails

I am still very distraught over the death of my kitty, Raga, but I have been able to choke back the tears long enough to check my e-mail and see all the nifty new Limited Ed. stuff that is floating around out there in the ether. First off, Mac sent me an e-mail with a link to these fan-designed future iPods. They are all one-of-a-kind concepts and are very interesting. I especially like this:



Isamu Sanada designed iPod/Newton Wristwatch. It kinda' reminds me of a futuristic version of this Laks Music Memory Mp3 Wristwatch:



Something you can actually purchase today, and not in the future. The price on these is actually not that bad, but still out of my range.

My next informative, Limited-Ed.-related e-mail was from Ryan who found these new Faderfox Midicontrollers:



Apparently, they signal the death of vinyl for DJ's, but I don't think vinyl will ever die. There is just something very satisfying about holding a record in your hand that a computer and mouse can't replace. Even if you can tweak all the knobs while mixing with your computer. Leave it to the Germans to try and take the fun out of DJ'ing.

Then I received an e-mail from Vans introducing their new Bucky Lasek Signature Model:



Those shoes are pretty cool looking, but I don't think at my age I should be getting back on a skateboard. Especially since the last time I rode one I broke my wrist.

And finally, ya' got these Nike Delta Force sneaks:



Designed as a collaboration between hip-hop artist Nitro and Nike. There are only 26 pairs of these, so they are definitely Limited Ed. A little ugly for my taste, but I can't afford 'em anyway, so who am I to judge.

Thanks to everyone who sent me their condolences in regards to my baby Ragamuffin. It's still very hard for me to come home and not have her greet me with a cute meow. I miss having her ride on my shoulder everywhere, also. I just really miss her. She was one-of-a-kind.

Why God, Why?!

Ragamuffin J. Wigglesworth, Esq. 2001-2004

Ragamuffin was a good cat, and they say only the good die young. She was definitely taken before her time. I like to think that she was such a good cat that God wanted to have her back. She was a beautiful, vivacious kitty who loved beef jerky and ice cream. She used to run up to me when I got home and greet me with a "meow" and stand on her hind legs when I bent down to pet her so that she could get closer to my hand. There will never be another kitty like her. I got Raga when she was only six weeks old from a woman I was working with. I spent the first four hours I was with her picking ticks off of her that she got from being abondoned in a barn. She cried the whole time, but afterwards we were inseperable. I loved her like she was my own child. For the first few months of her life I took her everywhere with me. To work, to friends' houses, she would just cower in my lap or hide under a sofa. She was a very skittish kitty, and even though I wanted and tried my best to get her fat, she maintained her svelt, kitten-like appearance. She had lived in three houses before we moved into our new apartment. We were here only two days when she managed to push open the screen from a window she was sleeping in and get out. I noticed at four-thirty in the morning that she was out and spent the next three hours looking for her. She was an indoor/outdoor cat, so I figured she would go exploring a little and come back. When she didn't return all day I started getting worried. I put up lost cat signs today, and almost immediately received two phone calls from people who had seen her body in the middle of the road. The tears began instantaneously and still haven't stopped. It is pretty tough writing this post. If anyone would like to send their condolences, they can do so from the message thingy below. There will be a memorial service this weekend for anyone who would like to attend. Flowers may be sent c/o Alec Grossman, 200 Hwy 54 Bypass, Apt. G-105, Carrboro, NC 27510.

Moving

My apologies to anyone who missed having anything Limited Ed. to look at and read about this weekend, but I was moving. I am now living in Carrboro, North Cackalacky, also known as the Paris of the Piedmont. I will not be giving out my address, I already know what kind of sick crap you people out there would send me if I did, but I will say that I am living in apartment G-105. Which, for those of you who don't live in NC, are the call letters for the local cheesy-ass pop music radio station! Sweet! How many pieces of junk mail will I get that are intended for the radio station? We'll soon find out! Maybe I can win the $250,000 home make-over that G-105 is giving away based on the fact that I live in an apartment with the same call letters as their radio station. Anyway, it is lunch time and I have to go home and feed my kitty-cat. I will find some Limited Ed. stuff to post later. Don't worry, you will all have something to fill the void soon.

Colonel Angus Anyone?

Burger King has a new burger called the Angus Steak Burger, so I asked the girl at the drive-thru if it was named after the Colonel. Predictably, she responded, "Who?" So I said, "You know, the Colonel, Colonel Angus? He was a great Civil War hero. Come on, Colonel Angus? Colonel Angus? Next your going to tell me you don't know who Ray Charles is." I tell you what, do not piss off a young African American woman at a drive-thru at lunch time. Seriously, bad idea. There was definitely spit in my burger. Probably a little bit of Colonel Angus, too.

Anyway, I just got me a set of these Jay and Silent Bob Action Figures:



To christen my new apartment. Gotta' have some new toys for my new place. It only took me four hours to pack up all of my other toys last night. I love moving!

Thanks to Tom Fool for getting me on the subject of Colonel Angus.

Ride That Pony!

Everyone knows that Adidas, Puma, Vans, and Nike make the coolest shoes around. Everyone has seen the Laser Cut Nike's, the customizable old skool Vans. Everybody's got a pair of funky-colored Puma's lying around somewhere. And who has never owned a pair of Adidas Sambas? But if you want to be fresh on the scene with something no one else will be wearing, you gotta' get yourself a pair of Pony's!

I remember I must have been around eleven or twelve years old, hanging out at the mall. I had a brand new pair of hi-top Converse Chuck Taylor All Stars and I was going up the escalator, not really paying attention. When I reached the top, I planned to let the escalator gently release me onto the upper level, but instead it grabbed a hold of the fronts of my shoes and tried to drag me into its mechanical depths. I freaked out and started screaming and had to rip the fronts of my shoes off in order to free myself! Mall security accused me of trying to damage private property, and I accused their escalator of trying to kill me, and eventually it was all settled by the mall buying me a brand new pair of Pony's from K-Mart. Although I don't remember them being nearly as cool as these Pony Midtown Crackles:



I also appreciate these Pony Turf '79's:



And these sweet camo Pony California '78's:



Get these and other fine Pony's online at www.zappos.com before they get so hot you can't find them anymore.

There's A New Toy Store In Town

And it's name is Wootini!



Wootini will be opening June 21^st at the Carr Mill Mall in Carrboro, North Cackalacky. It is the first such shop of it's kind in the area, and is the kind of place I was thinking about opening on 9^th Street in Durham. Damn them, they beat me to the punch! I'm sure I will be spending a lot of time and money there. Is that a tingle in my Achilles heel?

Cannabis Vodka

Who needs to smoke it when you can drink it and get the effects of two intoxicants at once? Actually, the cannabis seed oil that is used in the production of this Limited Ed. Cannabis Vodka probably won't get you high. Cannabis seeds don't really contain THC, the active ingredient in the leaves and buds of the plant. THC is alcohol soluble, however, so don't put this stuff in your water pipe unless you want to waste your cannabis. Of course if you drink enough Cannabis Vodka, it will definitely get you wasted! I'm very interested in what this stuff tastes like, especially since it is made by a Russian oil company.

Cheesiness

I have written some really cheesy entries recently. Well, like yesterday and today. Okay, there were some cheesy ones before that, but mostly I like to drop the ill shiznitz on ya'. Like this Limited Ed. Moog 50th Anniversary Watch:



Combining my love of Moog synthesizers and cool watches with this watch, limited to only 500, Bob Moog has only increased my respect for him. Moog is also releasing these Limited Ed. Moog Album Tees:



These also make me very happy. So happy that I'm pissing all over myself.

One More Silver Dollar

And I'm not gonna' let 'em catch me, no, not gonna' let 'em catch the midnight rider!

Well, I thought that it would take a little longer before Ronald "McDonald" Reagan got his face on some money, but apparently the National Collector's Mint beat everyone to the punch. They actually have two new collector's coins dedicated to the jelly bean addict. First, the Limited Ed. Ronald Reagan Silver Dollar:



This is the only officially authorized Ronald Reagan commemorative coin and, according to the website from this lousy piece of spam I received:

They said he was just an actor. But he played the role of President like he was born for it. His critics predicted he would wilt under the stress of the world’s toughest job. But he took a would-be assassin’s bullet and kept right on leading the Free World without missing a step. They said he wouldn’t grasp the complexities of the Cold War. So, all he did was win it. He was “the Great Communicator.” Most importantly, President Ronald Reagan inspired our renewed patriotism and love for America.

Okay, so half of that is b.s. There is a strict limit of five on these bad boys, so get yours today. The other collector's coin is a crappy medallion that really isn't worth mentioning. It's not nearly as nice as that painted silver dollar, no sir. I would rather have a Limited Ed. Legal Tender Harry Potter Coin than one of those crappy R.R. medallions anyway. The Harry Potter coin is officially authorized legal tender on the Isle of Man, imagine that. Once again, you can't make this kind of stuff up folks.

Limited Edition Muff

You can't make this stuff up, people. You can only sit back and enjoy it.

Who among us doesn't love a nice Limited Edition Muff?



I know I just can't wait for winter when I can sink my hands into a nice warm muff. This muff is from a faux Crystal Fox. I remember when I went to The Crystal Fox Lounge in Reno, Nevada. Sure, all the ladies there are over 65, but that just means they are more experienced. They know how I like it. But some of them may need some Merkins to cover up where they are getting a little thin, if you know what I mean.

Post #75! And for some reason I am still counting them!

Supersweet!!!

Remember back in the day when the first Star Wars movie came out and you couldn't believe your eyes? You had never seen anything like it before. It was a little scary, but exhilirating to watch. And then came the merchandise. Little, three-and-a-half inch figures in clear, molded plastic shells attached to informational cards with pictures from the movie on the front and pictures of the other toys on the back, so you could decide what you wanted to get next. All the ships, troop transporters, and battlescapes that realistically recreated scenes from the movie. I had it all, and it was all sold at yard sales for pennies to kids who wouldn't appreciate it nearly as much as I had. Well, now I can recreate that feeling of joy that I had back then with this Limited Ed., not for retail sale, carded Sandtrooper Kubrick by Medicom that Julian has over at Why Workshop:



I'm sure they will be ridiculously expensive. The carded Luke Skywalker Kubrick is selling for seventy-five dollars US on e-bay, the carded R2-D2 Kubrick from the hit TV series "Droids" goes for over a hundred bucks US, and if you can find it, the carded Boba Fett Kubrick is going for anywhere from a hundred to four hundred dollars US, damn. That giddy, child-like feeling of anticipation fades quickly when faced with those kinds of prices.

Pretty Kitty

Limited Ed. is an animal lover. Not in the sick beastiality sense, you freak. I can't believe you were even thinking that. He likes having pets, they are very relaxing and entertaining. And people who have pets tend to live longer, happier lives. Limited Ed. already has a cat, but if he were to get another one it would be one of these amazingly cute Toyger Cats... the house cat with the look of a mini tiger!



Unfortunately, there are no breeders listed on the Toyger breeder page. That is why it is a Limited Ed. cat, I guess. Also, check out the Pixie Bobcat, the Bengal cat and the Savannah Cat. All of these are new breeds and very cute.

Delicious Sneaks

Most vegetarians I know don't really care that much about what their clothes are made of. They really just care what their food is. Of course, most of the vegetarians I know aren't really vegetarians. They all eat fish, and they all wear leather. For those of you out there that prefer a more vegan or mocrobiotic lifestyle, i.e. you don't eat anything that casts a shadow, you got these Limited Edition Red Eliot Sneakers:



Personally, I'm still waiting for Adbusters to come out with their Black Spot Sneakers:



Until they come out in September I will just have to wish for a pair of Adidas Gazelle "Naturals":



These shoes are made from hemp to satisfy my hippie chic desires.

R.I.P. Ray Charles

I heard that Ray Charles died today while I was in line at the drive-thru at Taco Bell. I was not only saddened by the passing of this musical legend but also tormented by the thought that it will be overshadowed by the passing of a mediocre actor and half-wit president. When I told the African American girl who was running the drive-thru that Ray Charles had died, she said, "Who?" How could she not know who Ray Charles was? I saw Ray Charles perform in Savannah in 1997. It was an amazing show. The mayor proclaimed it Ray Charles day and gave him the key to the city. He sang "Georgia On My Mind," I almost cried. I shed a tear now for Ray Charles and anyone who doesn't know who this great artist was. Although the Pepsi commercials were a little much.

Vacuum Cleaners?

Who would have known that there were so many different Limited Ed. vacuum cleaners in the world? I really did not expect to find any. But there are a lot of them apparently. First off, we have this Miele S548i Aluminium Limited Edition Vacuum Cleaner:



Apparently this is the first ever HEPA certified vacuum cleaner! I'm not exactly sure what makes it Limited Ed., but that's how it is advertised. Then you got this Eureka Boss Limited Edition Vacuum:



I'm not really sure what makes this one Limited Ed. either. Maybe the color? There is no indication on the site as to why it is limited. Then there is this Eureka Limited Edition Vacuum. I'm not sure why this one is limited either. I'm thinking it probably has something to do with the bonus mini turbo nozzle. All of these Limited Ed. vacuums seem to be limited for no reason at all. Of course, the best vacuum I have ever used is this Dyson DC07 Full Gear Model:



Dyson is even running a contest called "Colour My Dyson" in which you can design your own Limited Ed. Dyson vac and a portion of the proceeds from the sales of the winning design will be donated to Cancer and Leukaemia in Childhood (CLIC). Not only do they make the best vacuums, but they donate money to charity, too. All of these vacuums really suck, but the Dyson definitely sucks the best. I just wish the same could be said of my girlfriend. Wait a minute, I don't have a girlfriend. So who was that in my room last night?*
*Is it ironic that my 69^th post is about something that sucks?

Wiener Or Weiner?

I was just thinking about my last post and the spelling of the word wiener. I am not sure if it is spelled "wiener" or "weiner." I looked up both on google, and both of them returned hot dog references. According to my limited knowledge of German pronunciation, wiener should be spelled with the "i" before the "e". This is also the general rule of English spelling. "'I' before 'e' except after 'c' and when pronounced 'ay' as in 'neighbor' and 'weigh'." So why all of the references to wiener spelled "weiner?" Is everyone who works for hot dog companies as poor of a speller as me? Probably so. If anyone knows the reason why there are two spellings for the word "wiener" please let me know. Thanks.

Delicious Wiener

Mandi sent me the link to this cute little device: the Octodog!



The Octodog can do amazing things to any wiener. I tried it on my own wiener. Here's the result:



It sure did hurt! I think it would probably be a lot less painful if I used a hot dog. Maybe one of the Limited Ed. Kobe beef hot dogs from the Old Homestead Steak House Restaurant, New York City's oldest and finest steak house, would work better. At $19 a pop they should taste a little better than my wiener anyhow. You gotta' get it with the Kobe beef chili topping and Vidalia onions. Also, if you ever get the chance and can actually afford it, try the $95 Kobe steak or the $41 Kobe beef burger topped with exotic mushrooms and micro greens. I'm not sure what micro greens are, but just thinking about all of that delicious, tender Kobe beef is making my mouth water. I know where I'm going the next time I am in New York and someone else is paying for my meal.

Adorable T's

Limited Ed. is sleepy. So sleepy he is having trouble typing. So sleepy he couldn't use an exclamation point to save his life. Limited Ed. was up all night thinking about a toy store on 9^th Street in Durham that is for sale. Limited Ed. would love to run his own toy store. He was up thinking about how he would design the interior, what toys he would stock, how he would prevent shoplifting, how he used to do a lot of shoplifting himself, how he once wrote an article about shoplifting for an indy zine in high school, how he can't concentrate on one topic, but is constantly wandering, wandering, wandering. Then he thought about what kind of t-shirts he would have in his toy store. He would have to have some t's by k adorable at his store. Like this one:



K adorable makes Limited Ed. t-shirts, and they have a monthly subscription service that sends you one-of-a-kind t's. They are cute and silly and make me laugh, even when I can barely keep my eyes open. I'm glad there is a couch here in the office. Nap time.

Thanks to Cool Hunter Josh Rubin for the k adorable info.

Ch-Check It Out!

My last four posts have had exclamation points in the title! Sweet! I am really excited! Especially since the Beastie Boys new and possibly final album, To The 5 Burroughs, will be in stores June 15^th! I can't wait! It's too bad this is their last album, supposedly. In honor of this historic release and the passing of Ronald Reagan, one of the most overrated presidents in American history, I have found some nice Limited Ed. Beastie Boys shtuff. Okay, so this really doesn't have anything to do with that bumbling dolt, but I am currently watching the news, and they can't seem to get off of Reagan's jock. Anyway, I don't want to get into all that. I'll just get all worked up and have to start using exclamation points again!

The first Limited Ed. Beastie Boys item I found was thisBeastie Boys Australian Tour Poster:



Then there's this Limited Ed. white label breakbeat mix of Fight For Your Right. I also found this Limited Ed. Hello Nasty Australian Import:



With a bonus disc with four extra songs. And this Limited Ed. Hello Nasty Instrumentals seems pretty sweet. *drool*

Nerds!

Limited Ed. is the first to admit that he is a bit of a nerd. For one thing, he is constantly talking about himself in the third person. David Cross would be very disappointed in me for this, but I'm not nearly as bad as Ricky Henderson. Anyway, along with Limited Ed.'s other nerdy avocations, such as web design, graphic design, and toy collecting, I am also a big video game nerd. I have owned or played extensively on an Atari 2600, Intellivision, Commodore 64, NES, Super NES, Gameboy, Sega Genesis, Playstation, Nintendo 64, Playstation 2, Gamecube, and Gameboy Advance SP. I have played every game from Archon to Zaxxon. Now Nintendo has decided to come out with a Limited Ed. Game Boy Advance SP Classic NES:



It looks like an old-skool NES controller, but is probably more powerful than an entire NES system. And it fits in the palm of your hand! Limited Ed. might have to trade in his old jet-black GBA SP for this new one. Then he can play all of old-skool NES games on the go and look nerdy-cool doing it. I'm not sure how many this item is limited to, but you can get it at amazon.com.

Be on the lookout for a couple more posts today since I didn't post anything all weekend because I was out having fun and not being nerdy.

Thanks to I4U.com for the GBA SP info. No thanks to Gadget Madness for making it so that I couldn't link to the GBA SP Classic NES pictures on their site, how annoying.

Andy Kaufman Lives!

Psych!!! So there have been a lot of rumors going around the web that Andy Kaufman is still alive. There's even a blog announcing his return, supposedly written by Mr. Kaufman himself, and a phony news article floating around Yahoo! News about it. Snopes.com has all of the urban legend information on this one for ya'. Reading all this crappola about Kaufman, one of my childhood heroes, reminded me of the documentary Running Fence (1978) that I saw while attending the Savannah College of Art & Design on the conceptual artist Christo in which Mr. Kaufman makes a cameo appearance. Or at least, I think he does. It was one of those things where I was the only person watching the documentary who noticed Kaufman's presence. I have never been able to verify this, but now the documentary, along with four others about Christo and his wife Jeanne-Claude produced and directed by the Maysles brothers, is available on the DVD:



5 Films About Christo and Jeanne-Claude - A Maysles Films Production. So I can finally go back and see if it really was Kaufman. Hopefully this will dispel some of the rumors about his reemergence after 20 years. If not, at least it might help sell some DVDs about a very interesting artist produced by two amazing documentarians. I'm not sure if the DVD is Limited Ed., but you better get 'em while they are hot.

NSFW!

Limited Ed. does not like having Not Safe For Work stuff on his blog, but Mandi and Mac recently discovered Limited Ed.'s proclivity for perfectly proportioned posteriors, and they wanted Limited Ed. to find some Limited Ed. ass stuff. Limited Ed. will stop referring to himself in the third person now. Alright, Mac, Mandi, there is no such thing as Limited Ed. ass stuff. Everyone has an ass, therefore, it can not be limited. Not to mention, the whole 'sharing your fetish' thing is getting a little freaky, not to mention creepy. Keep your sexuality to yourselves, people. I am embarrassed to have even broached this subject. Trying to sort through all of the pocket asses, ass lube, and various other crap is really not my cup o' tea. I would rather just look at some beautiful butts and that would be that, no one's the wiser, and Bob's your uncle.

Super Cool

So Medicom has put out a set of 25 Limited Ed. U.N.K.L.E. Pointmen figures:



And they all look so dope! I can only imagine the astronomical price for these bad boys. Julian at Why Workshop can probably help you out with pricing when you "e-mail if you interesting." I also like the Limited Ed. Milk Magazine version of the Brothersjoker Bowl figure that is limited to only 50 in the world that Why Workshop has on their website. Definitely out of my price range.