Lazy

I have been pretty lazy so far this week. I just moved to a new office and there are boxes everywhere, I can't find anything I need to get my job done, and our Small Business DSL isn't hooked-up yet because of beaurocratic nonsense. I hate beaurocrats and everything they stand for. Isn't it great to have a job where you are dependent on large corporations? Wait, everyone in this country has a job like that. I'm surprised anything gets done in this country at all. Not to get on a rant or anything.

So, no DSL means I will be very slow to post new stuff. But I did find this Limited Ed. crap for y'all. For all my friends with coulrophobia, ya' got this shitty Murano Art Glass Miniature, Limited Ed. Clown:



I've had chunks of stuff floating in my turds that were more interesting and attractive than this stupid little thing. Why would anyone go through all the trouble of hand-crafting something as revolting as this piece of crap? I hope it didn't take up too much of the time they would have normally spent masturbating with sand-paper.

If that didn't get you red-hot with excitement, than I'm sure this excrement will! Not since the fabled Japanese swordmaker Kenzo Shittiburro has there been such a magnificent specimen as this Limited Ed. Highlander Dragon Samurai Sword Set:



I think I saw those two redneck idiots on the Home Shopping Network hawking these late one night. Then the fat one accidentally cut his finger off and they had to cut to this item: A Limited Ed. Krone Charles Dickens Mont Blanc Pen:



This is the actual pen that Charles Dickens used to stab himself in the leg when he was working on his numerous novels and he got so bored he almost fell asleep writing them; I'm getting bored just thinking about them. Eventually Dickens would succumb to ink poisoning, but not before putting this pen up for auction on E-bay.

Finally, I submit to you as evidence of my insanity, this Limited Ed. Precious Moments Keepsake Figurine, entitled Always Bring a Friend:



I like how they call this a Limited Ed. item even though this specific piece is numbered 527,122. Doesn't seem very limited to me. It makes me want to crap rainbow sherbet.

All of these items have been brought to you by the good people at Divine Images. Because the Lord is always looking out for a good set of Samurai swords.