301 Films

I know I have been a little slack with the posts recently, but it's the holiday season and I have been pretty drunk for the past four or five days, so I have an excuse. Not a good excuse, but what excuse is ever really good? At least I accomplished one thing during my drunken lost week. I done drew this promotional poster for The 301 Films Forum - Saturday, January 29^th, 2005:



It's being held at Temple Ball in Carrboro, North Cackalacka. There will be plenty of funny, entertaining, and sometimes strange films for your viewing pleasure, not to mention the bluegrass stylings of Puritan Rodeo Show. All of this entertainment for just five bucks! How can you go wrong? Just to let y'all know, the illustration on the poster is from the short film South Fork. If you like the poster and want one like it done for your event, let me know in the comments section. I work cheap... and apparently drunk.

New Gardeners At Ningyoushi

Ningyoushi is the first online toy store so far where I have seen the new Michael Lau 6" Gardener figures that were released last week at the opening of the new Michael Gallery in Hong Kong. So far, my favorite has got to be Lazy MC Yan:



Almost, but not quite as cool, is Mono:



Of course, if you have Stereo you gotta' get Mono. I got mono one time in junior high school from kissing this girl... okay, you caught me, I've never kissed a girl. I got mono from a toilet seat in the boys bathroom that I sat on that was wet with piss. Alright, alright, I've never had mono, but now I can have the 6" vinyl version of it. Cool! There should be more Michael Lau figures coming soon. Supercool! I'm still waiting on the Maharishi variants, even though the Maharishi website has stopped selling Michael Lau figures and they are apparently only available in-store. I guess I'll have to try and pick them up on e-bay... sucks!

Dilbert Cubed

One of the coolest new toys that I have seen this holiday season has got to be The Cubes:



Kind of a cubed version of the annoying comic strip character Dilbert or the wonderfully hilarious movie Office Space, these toys can be arranged to form an exact scale model of your own office environment. Right down to that annoying receptionist who is constantly answering the telephone in a horrible, happy, sappy, sing-songy voice. Each set is $12.⁹⁵ and comes with one character and one cubicle with sticker sheet. There is also an Expansion Figure Set so you can add ethnic people to your office. Now I can pretend I am at work even when I am at home! The fun begins when you stomp all over the little office environment you have created in your home made Godzilla suit yelling, "Take that you lousy bastards! That will teach you to make me fill out a TPS report, dammit!" They make a perfect gift for Boss's or Secretary's Day.

Strange

Japan sure has some strange products. Like these Sega Console History Capsule Toys:



Capsule toys, little toys that you get from gum-ball style vending machines, must be really popular in Japan because they come in every style and shape you could possibly imagine. And who would ever imagine that they would come out with miniature toy versions of Sega's video game consoles? What is the point of that? If you could actually play games on them, that would be one thing, but they are just little plastic toys. They are highly realistic with real removable parts. Each one of them features controllers, mini game cartidges and all of the other accessories you would find in the actual console, but I still don't see the point. I guess if you have any Japanese friends, these would be a good Christmas present. That is, if they actually celebrate Christmas. Reminds me of this story about how Jesus travelled to Japan after his resurrection to live out his days as a garlic farmer and die in Herai Village in the Aomori district of Japan. Makes sense to me!

I'm Batman!

Medicom Toys, the leader in quick, block-figure turn-around time, has just released a new set of Batman Movie Kubrick:



These new BM Kubs, which include the Batman, the Joker, the Penguin, a penguin missile, Cat Woman, and Selina Kyle, can be acquired from Ningyoushi just in time for Crapmas. Unfortunately, I'm sure if you order them this week, that probably won't be the case. But you could go by their San Francisco-based Double Punch store and pick some up in person. That is, if you live in San Fran or have the cash to fly out there just to pick up some toys, you dirty rich bastards.

Boutique To The Stars

I was watching the horrible, depressing, constantly-aired show The Fabulous Life: The Fabulous 40 on VH1 today when they mentioned something that was right up my alley. And by alley, I mean one-of-a-kind, diamond-encrusted, exclusive, gated alley. Suigeneris - Where the Best Finds You is a boutique on 58^th Street near Park Avenue in New York City that caters to the stinkiest of the filthy rich. It has been called the "Sharper Image for the jet-set," by some snobby asshole who sounds like Robin Leach, and probably is. Unfortunately, Suigeneris doesn't have pictures of all the cool stuff like their collection of Confederate Motorcycles and $15,000 Virtual GT Race Car Simulator on their website. So you'll just have to settle for pictures of an extremely expensive David Oscarson pen:

      

Enjoy!

Ouch!

Here's a cool little handmade item from James Sooy of Magnificent Egos, a gaming miniatures company. It's a pair of pierced eyeglasses:



I really don't get the whole nose-bridge-piercing thing, but if I needed glasses I would get it done just so I could look as cool as this guy:



Nice hair there buddy. Look, it's the Dutch Boy! Kinda' reminds me of the shades Laurence Fishburne wore in that one good Matrix movie and the two crappy ones that followed. Only these glasses can't be removed as easily. It sure would hurt to have those ripped from your face. And you wouldn't be able to do the dramatic glasses removal that is so prevalent in psychological thrillers these days.

[Via Engadget]

New Michael Lau Figures

As I mentioned in a previous post Michael Lau had an exhibit this past weekend at his new gallery, Michael in Hong Kong where he has unvelied four new figures. They are, like I figured, Mono:



Lazy Fat West:



Lazy Yan:



And the special Nike Blackball T90 Exhibition BB Boxset:



So far the only place I have seen them for sale is on ebay, but I don't trust that shit anymore. I have been ripped off one too many times, I guess. Anyway, Squid Beats Monkey says there may be a couple more figures released tomorrow on the last day of the Nike Blackball T90 Exhibit. Is it better to have blackballs than blueballs?

Also, check out the Maharishi variant Gardeners that SBM has links to on their website, here, here, here, and here.

[Via Squid Beats Monkey]

Rare Star Wars Helmet Up For Sale

Just a quick post from an e-mail that Spaceboy sent me. Apparently Christie's auction house in London has a Rare Star Wars stormtrooper helmet up for sale:



It was one of six made for George Lucas to pitch his film idea to film executives and was used in two Star Wars movies. It is estimated to fetch up to £7,000. It would probably fetch more if the last two Star Wars movies released hadn't sucked so bad. Ya' know, the whole stormtrooper reference reminds me of my previous post about the Nazification of America. Lousy censors.

What The *Censored*?!

I know I don't normally go on political rants, but I am an artist and this kind of fucking bullshit will not stand, man! What in the holy motherfucking shit ass bitch is this crap?! Is this still America or have I somehow been transported back in time and space to Nazi Germany? Isn't it our duty as Americans to criticize our leaders if we don't agree with their policies? Doesn't the first amendment to the constitution of the United States of America guarantee us the right to freedom of expression, and doesn't the second amendment to the constitution give us the right to form a militia to overthrow a government that we believe has been corrupted and has denied us our basic human rights? So how does something like this happen?

It's just a small acrylic on canvas, but the Chris Savido portrait of President George W. Bush that uses monkeys to form his image has led to the closure of a New York art exhibition, reports Reuters. Titled "Bush Monkeys," the painting looks like Bush from a distance, but up close one can see the image is actually made up of chimpanzees or monkeys swimming in a marsh. Now [Chris Savido] plans to auction the painting and donate the proceeds to an organization dedicated to freedom of expression.

I am outraged at the fact that this exhibit was shut down. Not to mention that this isn't the first controversial painting of G.W. Schmuckenstein to be yanked from public display. In October, a whimsical, cartoonish painting of a nude Hitler, I mean Bush, was censored from the City Museum in Washington D.C.

Washington artist Kayti Didriksen's painting "Man of Leisure, King George" depicts President Bush in the well-known style of Manet's "Olympia", as he is presented with his crown by a depiction of Vice President Dick Cheney.

I never heard of any controversial paintings of Bill Clinton being removed from public display. So why are controversial paintings of G. Dub being removed? Are we living in a fascist regime? I guess so. Give Dubya another couple of years and I'm sure he will get rid of the Bill of Rights and the Constitution. Maybe it's not his fault. Maybe it is his mentally challenged, uneducated, fascist-religious, fuckwad followers who are to blame. I know I shouldn't be making such a fuss. I'm sure they will be rounding up all the Jews, liberals and homosexuals soon enough and putting them in death camps, and being a liberal Jew I'll be one of the first in the showers, so it might be a bad idea to criticize these assholes, but I can't help it. It just makes me so angry and frustrated. What else is there for a liberal Jew like me to do other than try to manipulate the media in the way only a liberal Jew can? Like Ice T once said, "Freedom of speech, just watch what you say!" Well, that's my rant for the day. Enjoy!

Pimpin' Still Ain't Easy

I received an e-mail this morning from Tokyo Flash just to let me know that Pimp Watches has released a new Limited Ed. Pimpin' Ain't Easy black IP watch:



This limited production 72 White L.E.D. watch lights up brighter than any other watch available. The black coating is done with IP Plating. IP Plating fuses the color into the metal, so that it produces the hardest finish possible. White L.E.D. lights are the most expensive. The price had to be increased a little to ¥19,000 to cover the additional cost of the lights. Get yours today before they are all bought up as Japanese Christmas presents. Do they know it's Christmas in Japan?

Woooooooooooootini!

My favorite local designer toy store, Wootini has finally opened their online store, so now everyone who lives outside of Carrboro, North Cackalacka can participate in the craze of collecting Limited Ed. designer toys. Yippee!

[Sorry, no pictures today.]

Can It Really Be?

More rumors are popping up all over the internets about Apple's future in the cell phone industry. Here is the first picture I have seen of the hopefully soon to be released iPhone:



According to the rumors, the phone will be released either in conjunction with Motorola or Sony Ericsson. Of course the phone in the picture looks suspiciously like the Sony Ericsson T618. Also, a whole lot of people are calling this pic a fake, which it probably is. But wouldn't it be cool if it were real? I guess we'll just have to wait and see (while you're waiting, check out the flash iPod rumors).

[Via Engadget]

Pimpin' LED Spinners

Alright, so I guess it is time for me to take a break from designing t-shirts for a day and get some actual work done. Ha ha, I made myself laugh with that one. I am going to stop designing t-shirts... for now. But work... come on! Seriously. Instead I am going to write about something I saw on TV last night. Yeah, TV! I was watching Rides on my favorite channel, The Learning Channel, when I saw these crazy new Electric Pimp LED Spinners from MHT Wheels:



You can't really tell by this picture, and MHT doesn't have any additional pics or video on their website, but when these bad boys spin, they light up LED's all over the spokes that are computer-controlled to spell out whatever message you have pre-programmed or just create pretty patterns. Trust me, they are really trippy looking all lit up. The wheels were unveiled at the 2004 SEMA Show in Las Vegas, but won't be going on sale until they are fully production-ready in mid-2005. They will be offered under the DUB brand, a brand that has become synonymous with dope rims. So next summer, get ready to have flashy rims spelling out messages to you as you cruise up and down the boulevard. How fun!

Clever Girl

Apparently, I just can't stop designing t-shirts at work. I don't know what it is. Maybe it's the fact that I don't really like my job, don't want to be here, and I am especially bored. Whatever it is, here's the latest t-shirt design, just for the ladies. It's my new Limited Ed. Clever Girl T-Shirt:



You are such a clever girl, aren't you? Just order the t-shirt, dammit! I need the money!

New T's

While I was bored at work on Friday, trying to avoid doing any actual work, I designed two new t-shirts, which you could probably consider work since it took quite a bit of time and effort. I think the results were well worth it though. For all of you out there who think you are soooo clever, check out my new I Am Clever t-shirt:



Wearing this t-shirt will let all of your friends know just how clever you really are. And when you are not feeling so clever, but would prefer to free your inner 8-bit ape, I created this Free Kong t-shirt:



I also put these up on Threadless, where they will look much better because they screen print their t-shirts instead of using iron-ons like Cafe Press, so as soon as they are available to be voted on, I will put the links to the voting up here. Wear them with pride and enjoy!

Update: Unfortunately, Donkey Kong is a trademarked image, so I had to replace the Free Kong T-Shirt with an equally offensive Gimmick Gun and Dandelion T-Shirt. I hope y'all aren't too disappointed.

And I've Been Using My Legs This Whole Time

Well, Toyota has gone and done it. They have made the dreams of paraplegics and lazy people around the world come true. Now, with just the press of a button, you can walk your fat, lazy ass from the couch to the fridge for yet another beer! Alright, so you can't do it just yet, but at an exhibition in Aichi next year Toyota is planning on unveiling the handy-dandy new i-foot and i-unit:



The i-foot is actually intended for the "disabled," but what about the i-unit (hehe, that name makes me giggle)? Is it intended to be a bad-ass wheelchair or some sort of personal transport device? According to the press release it is a single passenger vehicle. I guess it will be a competitor for the outrageously successful Segway. Personally, I think this picture of the i-foot is the funniest:



I just like the way the retro-space-age chick in silver is "dancing" with the i-foot. Very festive. I also enjoy these pictures of the controls for the i-foot:

        

They remind me of the controls for the cargo-loading robot suit that Sigourney Weaver used in the movie Aliens to kill the queen-mama alien. I wonder if the i-foot has a flame thrower? That would be sweet. No one would mess with those paraplegics if they had a flame thrower... and it would be perfect for toasting marshmallows on a cold winter eve.

[Via Gizmodo]

More New Toys, Dammit!

Check out the new Kaws Companions that Julian has available for pre-order at W.H.Y. Workshop. They look pretty cool... and fuzzy! I am feeling a little too lazy right now to post the picture, but I will post a picture of BONASS by French grafitti artist MIST:

BONASS is the girlfriend of MIST's other character, MALUS. I like her 'cause she's most definitely NSFW. Mmmm... titties! Just in time for the holidays. Enjoy!

New LED Watch

I received an e-mail this morning about a new Limited Ed. LED watch from Tokyo Flash called the Diode by Saishin:



The watch tells the time by lighting up lines to the correct hour and minute. I just love lighting up lines! It looks pretty cool with its red LED's, and Tokyo Flash says that they are bright enough to read even during the day. Tokyo Flash does not say how many they are limited to, but they are going for only ¥13,900, so get one while you can!