What In Tha' Hell?!!

With George W. Bush the projected winner of this year's election, Democrats are already starting to line up to move to Canada. I know I have my bags packed already. For those of you who are planning on remaining in a country that supports the fundamentalist-biased, unconstitutionally-faith-based regime imposed by Herr Bush, I would start stocking up on these fancy, custom Art Caskets from Casket Xpress. You're going to need them for all of the dead American soldiers returning from Iraq, Iran, North Korea, etc. over the next four years. Not to mention the countless hundreds of thousands of dead Iraqis, Iranians, Koreans, etc. that will be piling up soon. There's nothing stopping that evil dimwit G.W. now. He can't be re-elected again, so he pretty much has this term to do whatever he wants. Including hastening the armageddon. Personally, when I am killed in a terrorist attack (the likelihood of which just went up tremendously), I would like to be buried in one of these sweet "Heart of America" Caskets:



And for all of those Nascar dads who voted for the evil one, they can drive away to the afterlife in one of these "The Race is Over" Caskets:



Of course, if you aren't Christian (and who in this world isn't Christian? Lousy infidels!) than these Caskets may not be that appealing to you. That's why Casket Xpress also carries the Bethel Oak Casket:



The most elegant casket for Jewish Orthodox burials. And finally, for the completely Orthodox, there's this Jacob Pine Flat Top Casket:



Get yours now before they are all taken by people who have died from lack of flu shots.