Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Bah, Humbug!

I hate Christmas. And not just because I'm Jewish. I hate all of the tacky commercials that start immediately after Halloween, especially those terrible new Old Navy sweater commercials where they can't even figure out how to rhyme. I can't stand the greed and parent-toy-fighting that goes on this time of year. And I am especially disgusted by how little of the actual meaning of the holiday is acknowledged nowadays. The religious aspects are almost completely gone, except for very observant Christians. Only the nativity scene remains from the original story for most people. Then you got all of the pagan aspects, like the Christmas tree, Santa Claus, and the fact that Christmas occurs in December coinciding with the pagan holiday Saturnalia instead of in July when Jesus was most likely born. So, in honor of this most pagan of holidays, which in Thailand, where I was for Christmas in 1997, is just an excuse to spend money (not that different from here, really), I have decided to find some really crappy Limited Ed. christmas crap. First off, check out this Limited Ed. 1930 Santa Claus figure:



From Nussknacker Haus which means "Nutcracker House" in German and is located in Leavenworth, Washington. I'm not sure if this Santa is a nutcracker (most are), but I do know he is wearing the traditional Coca-Cola ad campaign Santa colors.

Not really Limited Ed., but really retarded, is this USB-powered Santa [Via Engadget]:



It connects to your computer to play Jingle Bells, Joy to the World, the First Noel, and Silent Night on its little bongo drums. It sure makes sense for Santa to be playing bongos, doesn't it?

Continuing on, here is something you don't see everyday. Most of the time you don't even see something this wierd during Christmas season. It's a Limited Ed. Clayworks Christmas Tree House:



I'm not sure what a Christmas tree house is, but it sure is ugly. Apparently you are supposed to put a candle or lightbulb inside to accent its ugliness.

And lastly, because this is kinda' making me sick, check out this Limited Ed. Christmas Tree Farm print by Linda Nelson Stocks:



It almost reminds me of the winter paintings of Pieter Bruegel (the elder), but not nearly as good or interesting or historically important. Anyway, that's my rant on Christmas. I probably won't write anything else about my hatred for this vile holiday, but it is still almost a month-and-a-half away, so you never know. Merry Christmas everybody!

[I hope I offended at least a few people with that. I sure hate Christians!]

3 comments:

M said...

Making fun of stupid people and the things they buy is sexy. That atrocious pseudo-Dali nightmare "Christmas Candle Tree Gold Outhouse" is sexier.

M said...

Since you're one of the few Jews who finds Chri$tma$ so appealing, perhaps you should consider celebrating Chrismukkah.

Limited Ed. said...

Now, if you could just incorporate Kwanza and Ramadan in there it would be perfect!