Hercules, Hercules, Hercules!

Haha! It's April Fools' Day, and I am a fool. A fool in love with you! All of you! Well, not really all of you, but at least one of you. And I think you know who you are. And if'n you don't, you sure aren't very perceptive, Holly. Speaking of perceptive, I recently received an e-mail from Native Instruments letting me know about their new Hercules Intuitive USB Mixing DJ Console:



Created by Hercules for Native Instruments, this DJ Console is optimized to be used with Native Instruments Traktor DJ Console Edition. This bad little box isn't necessarily Limited Ed., but it is something that I think all of my DJ friends would salivate over. The console features two vinyl-style decks, eight knobs for tweaking gain, treble, mids, and bass for each deck, two sliders controlling the pitch for each deck, a crossfader of course, twenty-eight glowing push buttons for controlling cue points, pitch bend, psychedelic experiences, etc., and a mini-stick to control the mouse. The console also features four channel playback for Mac and six channel for PC, multiple monitor and stereo outputs, four selectable inputs, and mic and headphone volume controls. This thing is pretty damn sweet! If only I wasn't unemployed, broke, homeless, hairless, and horny I would get me one of these to stick down my pants and make love to. But that's not going to happen. Not while I have these pubic tarantulas!