MacBook On My Mind

The new MacBooks have been released into the wild and I want one. Everyone out there who reads this site, send me ten bucks so I can get myself a MacBook. Or just send me a MacBook. My current computer is a 500MHz G3 iBook with 256MB of RAM and a 10GB hard drive from 2001. It makes a great portable DVD player and paperweight. Other than that, it is a little out of date. The new MacBooks feature a 13.3-inch, 1280x800 pixel glossy display, Intel's Core Duo processor at speeds from 1.83 GHz to 2.0 GHz, up to 2GB memory, up to 120GB hard drive, an integrated iSight webcam, a remote control, gigabit Ethernet, WiFi and Bluetooth. The $1499 version also comes in shiny black. Of course I want the black one. Now I just have to figure a way to get fifteen hundred bucks. I could pimp myself out, but I don't think my girlfriend would appreciate that. I could rob a bank, but I don't have a gun or ski-mask and I could get five years in jail and a $500,000 fine for that. I don't have any rich relatives on their deathbed that I could inherit the money from. What's a poor boy to do? Any suggestions or donations would be greatly appreciated. E-mail me at limited[dot]ed[at]gmail[dot]com for where to send donations.

Update: the first person to send me a new MacBook or the money to buy one will receive a special prize of their choosing from my vast collection of Limited Ed. toys, shoes and artwork. They may also select to have their portrait or a painting subject of their choosing painted by me, a professional artist, in oil paint. What a deal!

Sorry...

I must apologize for my poop-laden previous post. I was very tired this morning. Anyway, a couple more things for today. Assault! Design has a new Limited Ed. button badge and sticker set that consists of five new Assault! button badges and two new sticker designs. The stickers feature one of their new pattern prints that will be featured on other products in the future. They are also giving away copies of their Back to the Drawing Board or Diamond Ring posters with any orders of £15 or more.

Next, Alife got their summer 2006 collection crackalackin' yesterday at 11:00am. Y'all can peep it at the Alife Rivington Club store located at 158 Rivington Street on the Lower East Side of Manhattan or at Alife Canada at 350 Water Street in Vancouver BC. I'm not sure what the whole 11:00am release was all about, maybe they were expecting the collection to sell out yesterday, whatever, that's cool.

Thirdly, check out the video [above] for It's Carrboro on Youtube. I'm not in it, but I should be, because I am a Carrboro fixture and have been here for years. I demand to be recognized, dammit! If you imagine really hard you can almost see me amongst the toys at Wootini in the video.

And lastly, hybrid grizzly-polar bear! Raar!

Crapalanche!

I pooped my pants!

News from Wootini: the Limited Ed. 'Aven - Akhenaton's Counsel' version of the Jermaine Rogers' Squire figure will be going on sale today at 3:00pm EST. There are only 72 of these bad boys and they will be going for $72.⁰⁰ a piece, so you better be there on time. I guess this is an in-store opportunity only, so if you live outside of Carrboro, I guess you're S.O.L.

I pooped my pants!

Also this evening at Wootini is the opening of Consume! The art of David K. Rose and Casey Porn [work pictured below]. It starts at 7 and will feature art, refreshments, and an acoustic performance by the group T.U.R.D.S.

I POOPED MY PANTS!!!

Mighty Slobots, Mighty Warriors!

I got some feedback from M.Heisler about the robot art he makes, called Slobots. I really like his Slomunny Seeker and Friend Slobot [pictured above] that won "Best in Show" at the 2005 Uberbot Munny Show. Very cool, although I think it's wierd that his name is listed as Mike Blanchett on the Uberbot website. Much cooler than Go-Bots, even if they don't transform.

Now That's Using Your Head

Here's a new way to get a-head in life. "Sonny" the robot may have been head-strong in the Will Smith disaster movie I, Robot, but not anymore. Now he's lost his head, and you can own it! This Limited Ed. 1/2 scale NS-5 "Sonny" bust [pictured left] is made of hard ABS plastic along with brushed metal for neck, brain enclosure and fiberous muscles. Sonny features a semi-translucent face and a slightly frosted positronic brain casing with built in soft blue LED light and sound sensor. Limited to only 3,000 units worldwide, Sonny comes numbered with a certificate of authenticity. It was scheduled for a February release, but it is still listed as a pre-order item on Action HQ. It's got a built in LED and sound sensor, how close are we to having an actual working, full size version of these? I've seen those Robosapiens in the stores, just slap a Sonny head on one of those bastards and get it to serve me a hot cup of coffee and massage my balls... of my feet. They really ache.

Get Crazy: The First Annual Back Yard Flea Mart!

U bring the trees? When I see the word "trees" having to do with anything other than the ones in the forest, it is usually a veiled drug reference to "weed". I don't think that is what Alife is referring to here, but I could be wrong.

Who Knew?

I was having a conversation the other day with someone about Jewish pornography (I won't reveal who it was in order to protect her identity), and I had completely forgotten about it until I got an e-mail today from the Skowhegan School of Painting and Sculpture letting me know that they will be presenting a talk between Glenn Ligon and Wayne Koestenbaum on Friday, May 19^th at 6:00pm at P.S.1 MoMA at 22-25 Jackson Ave. at the intersection of 46th Ave. in Long Island City. Admission is free, no reservation is required, but space is limited.

Glenn Ligon is an artist who has exhibited worldwide and is represented in major collections including the Carnegie Museum of Art in Pittsburgh, the Hirshhorn Museum and Sculpture Garden in Washington DC, The Museum of Modern Art, Solomon R. Guggenheim Museum and Whitney Museum of American Art in New York. Best known as a painter who uses language as a device for both image and communication, Ligon addresses issues of identity and politics through quotations from culturally charged material.

Wayne Koestenbaum is the author of five books of poetry, most recently Best-Selling Jewish Porn Films (2006). He has also published a novel, Moira Orfei in Aigues-Mortes, and five books of critical prose, including Double Talk: The Erotics of Male Literary Collaboration (1989); The Queen's Throat: Opera, Homosexuality, and the Mystery of Desire (1993); and Andy Warhol (2001). He has also written for many contemporary art exhibition catalogues and was the recipient of a Whiting Writer's Award. He taught at Yale University from 1988 to 1996 and is currently a professor of English at the CUNY Graduate Center, as well as a visiting professor in the painting department of the Yale School of Art.

Unfortunately, Best-Selling Jewish Porn Films is not a directory of movies like I had hoped, but rather a book of poetry. This slightly disappointed me, but I am just glad to know that someone other than myself is interested in this subject.

King Of The World

Florence and Papa looking as happy as I've ever seen him.

This is the happiest I think I have ever seen my father. Not only is he sitting next to Florence Faivre, one of the most beautiful Thai/French women in the world and female lead in my brother's feature film debut The Elephant King, but he is also a little drunk, not just on the Santori Whiskey he was drinking but also on the after-effects of just having seen a screening of his son's movie at the Tribeca Film Festival. And what an excellent film it was. Consisting of about 50% reality, 50% imagination, the movie follows the travels and travails of two brothers on an adventure through the seedy underbelly of urban Thailand. The film also highlights some of Thailand's more scenic features, such as beautiful temples and dense jungle, through the relationship between Florence's character Lek and Tate Ellington's character Oliver. Jonno Roberts, as anthropology student and Oliver's older brother Jake, also explores some of the more beautiful areas in Thailand, visiting waterfalls and hill tribe villages. But Jake's depravity, which causes his ultimate downfall, draws him into the darker side of Thailand; including visits to "massage parlors", dingy bars, dance clubs, throwing Thai boxing matches, and indulging in drinking and drug use. Jake draws Oliver into this world with him, but Oliver ultimately escapes and is redeemed. This film is the moral tale of two brothers' depravity and redemption, revealed through their relationship with one another, their parents, Lek, and Thailand (which can be considered one of the main characters). I know I am very close to this movie which makes it difficult for me to stay objective, but I feel that this is a masterpiece of a movie that everyone should see and bring at least two people with them.

From L to R: Mos Def, Alice Braga, Brendan Fraser, Scott Glenn, and Eric Eason.

I saw two other movies at this year's Tribeca Film Festival, Journey to the End of the Night and Pittsburgh. Journey to the End of the Night stars Brendan Fraser in a strange twist as the villain of the movie, Paul. It also stars Scott Glenn as Paul's nefarious pimp father, Sinatra, Mos Def as a Nigerian dishwasher named Wemba, and Alice Braga as Monique, a runaway on a downward spiral. The movie's gratuitous violence distracts from the excellent acting and cinematography and washes out any beauty that the Brasilian metropolis of Sao Paolo possibly possesses. Writer/director Eric Eason may have been trying a little too hard for the "edgy" label with this film (a label that has been over-used recently, causing it to lose its impact). In an interesting twist, the main character of the film, Brendan Fraser as Paul, is the antagonist and a secondary character, Mos Def's Wemba, is the protagonist and the person who the audience is (I guess) supposed to identify with. The audiences' reaction was one of the most interesting parts of this movie, with unexpected laughter at tense scenes and at the climax of the film, which comes completely out of left field. There was tepid applause at the end of the film and it seemed as if the cast and director were not going to come out for the Q&A at the end of the premiere. I had to admire Mos Def's choice of attire, however. He was clad in a pair of Limited Ed. Nike P-Rod Zoom Air Elite SB "Día de Los Muertos" kicks. Classic.

From L to R: Illeana Douglas, Jeff Goldblum and Chris Bradley.

Other than The Elephant King (of course), the best movie that I saw at Tribeca this year was Pittsburgh. Produced by Jeff Goldblum, Pittsburgh blurs the line between documentary and mockumentary. This story of real "people", (Jeff Goldblum, Catherine Wreford, Illeana Douglas, Ed Begley Jr.) acting in a small playhouse production of The Music Man in Pittsburgh in order for Jeff Goldblum's girlfriend Catherine Wreford to maintain her work visa to stay in the United States, is a definite side-splitter. I laughed the whole way through the movie. It is difficult to determine what is real and what was scripted for this movie, but that is part of its mystique. It was nice to see the city of Pittsburgh, also, which I haven't seen since I was a student there at Carnegie Mellon University.

Seth and a slightly confused Jeff Garlin.

Other than the screening of The Elephant King and the premieres of Journey to the End of the Night and Pittsburgh, the highlights of the trip were hanging out at the Tribeca Grand for free drinks where Lucy Liu walked within spittin' distance of where I was sitting, taking the above picture of Seth with Jeff Garlin from Curb Your Enthusiasm at the premiere of Journey to the End of the Night (Seth asked if they should kiss on the lips right before I took the picture), seeing Jane Lynch outside of the premiere of Pittsburgh, eating wonderful Italian food at John's in Little Italy the East Village, and the after-party for The Elephant King at Doug's apartment in Tribeca. What a whirlwind of a weekend. I felt like a hickory stick in a hurricane.

Step Off, B'yatch!

I will post pics and reviews from Tribeca soon, but until then, I mentioned in a previous post that Assault! Design should make a poster from the illustration that they have on the splash page on their website because it is such a "dope" image, and they must have been paying attention, because it is now available on for purchase on their website. Titled "Don't Step" the poster depicts an average guy defending his kicks from being stepped on, in the harshed possible manner. £10.00 gets you this original, entertaining, clean-looking, graphic novel-esque poster and a couple of cool stickers, as I mentioned in that previous post.

So Much Pain

Uuuuggghhh... I feel so rough this morning. What a whirlwind trip to NYC this weekend to see my bro's movie The Elephant King at the Tribeca Film Festival. I will have pictures and a fully detailed description up as soon as possible, but I forgot to bring my digital camera with me to work this morning because I was barely awake when I left my apartment. Until then, I hope y'all will be satisfied by a very cool watch from my favorite online watch retailer (I have bought four watches from them), Tokyo Flash: the new Limited Ed. Scope Watch [pictured left]! Here's what Tokyo Flash says about this intense watch:

The year is 2157, Alien Robots have taken over the Earth. Our cities lie in ruin. The last surviving humans have retreated to hidden caves and bunkers to escape the constant patrols by KX-400 Combat-bots. The remaining resistance fighters send out scouting parties for much needed supplies, but their job is extremely dangerous and few survive. Now, thankfully, they have the Arkon Industries SCOPE. This wrist mounted device accurately detects the power signatures given off by the Combat-bots allowing our patrols to evade the enemy. Powered by 2 lithium cells the SCOPE can locate nearby threats and indicate the direction and distance of the target.

Tokyoflash have managed to get hold of a shipment of SCOPE that was due to be sent forward to 2157. We didn't have any KX-400 Combat-bots nearby to test them out on, so we've modified the programming to display time.

The alien robots are all around us. A press of the scan control causes the Scope Watch to home in on your current position in time. The Scope is available in reflective silver or stealth black. The vertical line on the Scope Watch face indicates the hour and the horizontal line is for minutes. Minutes on the main screen are in groups of five and the number of Red LED's shown on the right indicate additional minutes. A second press of the scan control goes into date mode where the month and day are shown in the same manner as the time. For only ¥14,900 or $125.²¹ this alien robot-detecting wristwatch is bound to fly off the shelves in a hurry. Now all you need is a time machine to travel to the year 2157 to battle the alien robots of the FUTURE! Now I wish I could go back to sleep. But back to work instead!